Lazy day. Had coffee with Drake and Sarah at their friends new cafe/art gallery/wine store/performance space/place across the street and then walked around downtown and popped in some of the shops occasionally picking up perfectly ergonomic kitchen knick knacks wondering how you ever lived this long without it in YOUR kitchen. We walked on the sunny side of the street for an hour or so and decided to try Hernings best shawarma. And it was good. Really good. The meat was a touch dry actually. It had good flavor though, nice spicyness, a nice amount of yogurt sauce. Nice warm pita.
I'm kind of a shawarma expert. I've eaten it all around this beautiful globe (read: Western Europe) from Nordkap to Naples, Paris to Prague and all points in between. I've eaten it at noon, 6pm, and 3am. I like it hot and spicy. I like all it's incarnations: döner, durum, kebab... Basically, if meat is rotating on a spit, I'm in. You can use a long serrated knife to trim off the meat, a small hand-held electric meat shaver, or a hedge trimmer (which I've actually seen). I don't care. You pack that meat down the middle of a pita, you sprinkle in some lettuce, tomato, onions, you squirt some sauces and spices in there, you roll that sucker up, and then u wrap it so impenetrably tight in tin foil you need an engineering degree to eat it. Yeah, that's my jam. That's what I'M talking about.
If you like, I'll come to your town and eat your shawarma. I'll tell u if it's good or not. I won't charge you much, but I will need appropriate compensation as well as a detailed "hospitality" rider which includes, among other things, a functioning bicycle with a beverage holder and a front basket for storage, 2/3 cold beverages, one folded red and white checkered picnic blanket (it can be placed in the basket), along w one unscented tapered candle, one candle stick (preferably silver), one box of matches, a small travel box of baby wipes, and two tooth picks. I will come to your little European town, snack on your shawarma, and rate it either platinum, gold, silver, or bronze/street meat. Once the rating has been decreed, my work is done. I go home.
Call me if you are interested in that.
Anywho....
Made it to Skals in one piece. The two lane "highway" to Viborg (Skals is outside of Viborg) was closed. No detour signs. No kind Danish man to help confused motorists. Just blocked off. Without so much as a "we apologize for the inconvenience, but we are replacing this road so future Danes will enjoy a smooth ride to Viborg." I had to dig deep and tap into my at times uncanny driving intuitions to guide me through miles of farm lands before popping back on the road to Viborg a little further down the line behind the construction. Let's put it this way, when Spider Man feels a weird tingle, he calls it his Briany Sense. I also had my trusty GPS. Which helped in a way. I ONLY looked at it when it told me to turn.
So I am performing a show tmrw at the Skals Efterskole here in Skals, Denmark. It's for smart Danish kids. They mainly focus on academics but there is a small music program and a killer little, fully loaded band room actually. Do you know any smart Danish kids? Maybe they go here! Check it oot, see what it's all aboot: www.skals-Efterskole.dk. And those aren't typos, that was me speaking Canadian. I'll be performing for an hour in front of about 125 students. If they ask for Bieber, I'm leaving. Ha. No I won't. But I will cry.
I was greeted at the school by Binte, one of the top ten sweetest people in DK at the time of this blog post. She runs the kitchen. She had prepared a dinner for me and had it wrapped in plastic wrap waiting for me to arrive. She took me on a thorough tour of the campus. She gave me her iPad because I was having issues getting the wifi. And she made sure I was settled before she took off. A super sweetheart.
I'm literally the only person on campus right now. I have my own little suite off the main cafeteria. All the students and faculty are at, what I can so far ascertain as some sort of gymnastics meet? I'll get the low down and report back, don't worry. They won't be back until late tonight so I figure I can do one or all of a couple things: run around the main building like I'm starring in a one-man Danish version of Breakfast Club, which I think translates to Frokøst Klub. I can break into one of the dorms and remove all the door handles, dip them in super glue, and then reattach them (where can I find an industrial sized tube of super glue in Denmark at 8pm though?). I might just call it a night and get to bed early for once. I should probably get to work writing my insanity plea speech for when tomorrow at 730 AM, I walk out of my suite into a bustling cafeteria full of eager minds wearing just my boxers, holding a tooth brush and start accusing students of stealing my tooth paste.
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